I just wanted to you to know...

While I could be outside with Dr. Awesome, looking at sites like this....

or this....

or this....

I am not. Instead I am inside, in a library, in between stacks huddled by a plug with my UK-US adapter, working diligently on job applications that should have been finished a month ago. Oh wait, there weren't any openings a month ago.

Dr. Awesome and I are indeed having a fabulous trip though. Last weekend we cruised through all kinds of amazing things! This week while he works and I job hunt, I have managed to sneak in a few extra cups of coffee and read a bit more of my summer reading list. It is, after all, summer vacation. Our next weekend will bring us more adventure though, and more blog hiatus!

I do have to wonder though... will I ever get to have a summer vacation that isn't spend with that nagging worry of "what next?" Or are all new educators doomed to years of pink slips and reapplications? If I had my own room, my own grade, surely I would be taking pictures to share with my kids. It is a someday well worth the pursuit.

The End. (is near)

Have you ever heard that call and response song that starts "The other day... I met a bear..."? Well the end goes like this:

The end the end.
The end the end.
The end the end, the end the end!
The end the end the end the end!

This is 20th week of my 20 week contract. Thursday night is our big Spring Sing and I'll spend Friday doing a big inventory of the music closet. And after that, it's just me and the wide open job hunt.

For the last week or so I have kind of been in denial about the fact that my job really is ending. I have been lucky to be surrounded by a wonderful staff who have helped me learn to do a job I never prepared or planned to do in teacher ed. I kind of thought I would be excited to have my contract be over because this job hasn't exactly been what I bargained for. Writing music curriculum and managing a new class every 30 minutes is a long way away from guided reading or classroom inventories or even (gasp) test prep. I wanted 20 kids, not 500. I thought I would be writing IEPs, not guessing which kids had behavior contracts and which kids were just pissing me off to see how mean the new music teacher was.

But now the songs have been practiced, the soloists picked, the venue arranged, the sound system set, the video recording arranged, and all that is left to do is practice once more with each grade level before our performance. I'll even admit to thinking that the recorder performance might turn out half okay.

Sometimes kids still ask me what happened to the old music teacher. One conversation with a very young student went like this:

What happened to Mrs. Old Teacher?
Well, she retired.
What's retired?
When a person works for a very long time, they get to stop working because it's the end of their job. Then we say they are retired.
Oh. So she's not coming back?
She might come back to visit, but she's not coming back to teach.
That's why you teach us now!
Yup, you got it.
Oh no, are you gonna retire too?


I thought there was supposed to be some sort of built in auto-detacher to make saying goodbye to kids easier come May and June. I thought that I was supposed to stop giving a crap in May so that by June I could say goodbye and then it would come back in August so I was willing to go back to work again. I thought that by having 500 kids I would not get attached to anyone so much that it would kill me to leave them.

Now instead of 20 goodbyes I will have 500.

Thanks recession. Thanks.

Another day in the subbing trenches

The truth is, I do actually value my time as a sub. I often get a lot out of the days I spend in other people's rooms with other people's children teaching other people's lessons. I consider my subbing as paid learning time.

It's not what I wanted. It's not what I planned for or hoped for or paid for a very expensive graduate degree and state credential for. I really hope I can say this is the last month or two I'll ever do it because next year I'll have my own room.

But for now, subbing is what I have. Two days a week I am a substitute teacher. That is that so I may as well get something out of it.

Today I got to sub in a multi-age classroom. I had 4th-6th grade in one class! It was at one of our "alternative" learning style schools in our area. This school has a k-1, a 2-3, and 4-6 classroom. Let me tell you something--this is not something you can learn about in your teacher program and not something you can learn by watching for 30 min with a planned observation and a clipboard! After subbing this year, I really have come to see the value in just stealing a class for a day with an open mind and heart.

Today I saw:

-a classroom that was 1/4 library space
-truly student-ran class jobs
-group work done in... groups!
-classroom completely cleaned and tidied by the students, including vacuuming, in 5 minutes.
-more parents than I've seen all year combined
-test prep
-class meeting

There were negatives too. I wonder how the sixth graders will fare at junior high next year, when they will be thrust into the land of 7th &8th graders having only been exposed to multi-age classes for 7 years? Will they be ok when they have to go the whole day without ever seeing a parent volunteer? And what would I have done if there wasn't a teacher's aid AND a parent volunteer all day? Who paid for that aid in a district that only provides aids for K-1?

I dunno. A part of me thought this kind of job fit my teaching style perfectly. I actually felt like my day went really fabulously. But then another part of me, the cynic, thought... well shoot this isn't real life. Real life is test scores and 55min class periods in junior high and bozo parents and do these kids know algebra yet?

Meanwhile, in the land of music, Spring Sing is in 2.5 weeks!!! I'm terrified. There, I said it. I think the whole thing might be a total disaster. I found a dress to wear, so that problem is solved... I can't tell if I'm excited or nervous or... eeep. I think nervous.

So what's the plan, Sub?

There are some days that I just love subbing. I would rather I had my own classroom, to be sure, but subbing is a lot of fun compared to grad school or staying home and doing laundry or even sometimes compared to teaching music to a new set of kids every half hour. When I sub, I get my own class, even if it is only for the day.

One of the craziest things about subbing though is following someone else's sub plans. The plans I am given almost always dictates the kind of day I'm going to have.

Sometimes teachers leave an entire binder of sub materials. They put in the school's disaster plan, their management plan, a class list, a seating chart (outdated), fire drill plans, emergency numbers, sponge activities, school directories, and a school map.

Sometimes teachers leave you with stacks of papers with sticky notes on them detailing what you're supposed to do with each stack. Then it's up to you to make sure you use all of them in the right order with the right kids.

Sometimes teachers leave you teacher manuals with sticky notes (teachers lover sticky notes) on the pages you need.

Sometimes teachers write a schedule on the whiteboard and hope you get the idea.

Sometimes you get really detailed plans. "Pick up the kids at the line. Let the line leader lead the line. Walk them back to the classroom. The children should sit down at their desks. Take attendance by calling their names. Ask who is having hot lunch and write the total in the hot lunch box in the upper right corner of the attendance sheet". When I get the detailed plans, I think "oh crap, this teacher is really crazy". I do every thing my own way then leave a note telling her I did everything her way. I make sure to use lined paper so my handwriting looks neater than it really is.

Sometimes I get really sparse plans. "8:30 Math pg 170 kids know it" When I get the sparse plans, I think "oh crap, this teacher doesn't give a hoot". I do everything my way and then leave a relatively sparse note. I love sparse plans actually because I always end up making up lessons and never feeling bad about it. Math pg 170 was never so awesome as when I taught it without a sub plan. The teacher doesn't need to know that I taught the kids a silly song to remember their times tables or that we tried to split 3 paper sandwiches between 5 people.

On a recent day of subbing, when I arrived at 7:45am, the office wasn't quite sure which room I should go to, despite the fact that I had a name and grade level given to me by the sub coordinator. In the end they figured it out. I got the key and headed over.

Once I got there, the sub plans were no where to be found. This is not unusual though. Sub plans, though often put somewhere logical to the teacher, can be tricky to find. They could be hidden in a tray on the desk with a tiny label saying "guest teacher". Sometimes they are under several papers that the teacher set down on top of the plans without realizing it on his way out. Occasionally they are taped to the whiteboard in the back of the room. Once I found them inside the attendance folder, which I didn't open until I went to take attendance.

So there I was, in this particular room (that the office sent me to!) riffling through everything trying to find the sub plans. One cannot be shy when looking for such things. The phone rang though and it turns out I was supposed to go to Mrs. Next Door. Well shoot. Good thing no one found me ransacking the room!

Now, the plans for Mrs. Next Door were at least in plain sight. Her plans were of the sparse variety. For social studies, it said "9:30 Greek Myths". I looked around for any obviously piled worksheet packets on Greek Myths, any prepped materials, any text books with pages marked or in progress projects that needed finishing. All I found were tons of paint and art supplies on the back counter. Visions of making pipe cleaner Medusas and glitter lightening bolt Zeuses flew through my brain as I tried to remember what I could about Greek myths. I also was starting to calculate in to see if I had time to run to the school library to check out some books. Think of the possibilities!!!

But sadly I found the books and packets meant for the myths laid out neatly on a hidden shelf before I could get too excited about my myth lesson. I also sadly found the packets for math, and the terrible book we were supposed to read in language arts. Ugh. Why did I look so hard.

So my day went as planned, by someone else. We did boring packets that were total time wasters, read a terrible book I would have never chosen, and wasted time doing other mundane sub lessons.

I really wish I had never found those packets. Or that I had been able to stay in the first room I went to. Mrs. Next Door with her sparse plans and lame-o packets was not my idea of how I wanted to spend my degree.

Other days that I sub I get to do wonderful things like read aloud on Dr. Seuss Day. Sometimes you're awesome, and other times you get a really harsh reminder that you are, after all, just a substitute teacher.

Spring Break, 2010!

It's spring break, do you know where your teacher is?

Today I went to the aquarium! I saw all kinds of crazy fish and adorable otters, talked with a volunteer about lesson plans involving a sponge (like the animal, not the dish cleaner), and read as many kids books in the gift shop that I could before we had to go. I also talked field trip strategies with the store clerk. Sometimes teaching is something you breathe and people figure out that you're a teacher whether you mean for them to or not.

Perhaps not everyone spends their vacation trolling through the aquarium looking for lesson ideas for a classroom they have yet to be hired to teach in.

What are other teachers doing over spring break? I'm so glad you asked.

Well, I do actually know some teachers who are stumbling around drunk on some sandy beach with an umbrella drink and a one night stand. Sorry, but some teachers are sluts AND drunks. Are you really shocked?

I also know some teachers who took off to spend the week skiing or boarding. Some teachers are really into sports too. I know a few other teachers who are using the time off to get some last few training runs in before their upcoming marathon. So some teachers are into sports AND uber buff.

On Friday before spring break in the teacher's lounge we all shared about where we were going.

Mrs. Sixth Grade is going to Ecuador. Or was it Chile? She travels so much that she has a map up in her room with push pins. It is titled, "Where in the world is Mrs. Sixth Grade?" Very cool idea for bragging about your travels and getting the kids into geography. But someone might want to clue her into the fact that Carmen San Diego is a computer game to some, a cartoon to others, and "isn't that a city in California?" to kids today.

A few other teachers at my school are spending spring break doing wedding related activities. They have bridal showers or bachelorette parties in Las Vegas or even actual weddings to go to. Considering that I had pizza and beer for my bachelorette party, I don't really get the whole Vegas thing. Sounds fun though.

Many teachers were simply going to visit family. I guess technically I fall into this category, as my in-laws live in this city and our friends here are just as close as family.

A lot of my coworkers didn't say what they were doing over spring break. I have wild conspiracy theories about what they're up to. My first theory is that they are all going on some booze cruise without me.  My second theory is that they've all got temp jobs for break to make ends meet because their husbands all got laid off. My third theory is that they are all staying home with the shades down and eating bon bons in bed and watching crappy TV while their husbands still have to work like normal people.

And your local friendly wanna be teacher is here, in her favorite city, with her favorite people. Not quite as good as bon bons or a booze cruise, but still awesome.

The Teacher Sweater

Hello my faithful blog readers! All two of you!! Today I have to tell you about something very important: the teacher sweater. It is my professional opinion that the teacher sweater is visible evidence of a syndrome known as Post Teaching Stress Disorder, or PTSD. By the time someone with PTSD gets to the stage where they wear a teacher sweater (or vest) there is very little hope for treatment. Once you have it you have to retire.

Allow me to illustrate.

Two days ago we celebrated St. Patrick's day. The day started off with an intercom announcement from our faithful principal...

"Good morning boys and girls! We have a NEW school rule today! There is NO PINCHING at Butterfly School. We are not allowed to pinch. There is NO PINCHING allowed at Butterfly School."

That's good for me, since I wasn't wearing green. The only green I had in my closet was a sweater and it was a hot day! So no green for me. I wasn't too worried though, as I made it through Christmas without Christmas tree shirts and Hanukkah without dreidel socks and Valentine's day without pink or red hearts. I mean, it may be cool for other teachers to compare holiday themed brooches and earrings and stuff... but I find I feel like a big enough dork without all the extra props.

As St. Patrick's Day went by I saw lots of children wearing green. Many children were wearing things that were obviously class projects, like tissue paper shamrocks, construction paper hats and beards, and pots of gold made of felt with pipe cleaner handles around their wrists. Awww, isn't it good to know that teachers who complain that they don't have time to read real literature or use real math curriculum still manage the time to find, prep, do, and clean up from such important holidays like St. Patrick's Day? But I don't judge. I don't have a real job yet.

But those are the kids. And it's forgivable for a kid to wear so much green considering that no amount of school rules or announcements from the principal can prevent pinching behind teacher's backs. Also it's forgivable when you're five and it's just so damn cute to put a paper beard on you and make you go chase leprechauns.

However, once I started looking at the staff, I realized that this holiday was just like all the others at my school. The teachers REALLY brought it.

Ms. Kindergarten wore a green dress and heels.
Ms. First Grade wore green tights, boots, a black skirt, a green shirt with shamrocks on it, and a shamrock brooch.
Two of the Miss. Second Grades, BFFs and in their second year of teaching so they know EVERYTHING, wore clothes that could have been an ad for Abercrombie. They had boots, tights, a skirt, and a top. Just a touch of green and totally stylin.
Mrs. Third Grade wore a green patterned moo moo dress and sandals and socks.
Miss. Fourth Grade donned the boots, tights, and green top ensemble (seriously did I MISS A MEMO???)
Miss Fifth Grade wore jeans. Whew.... wait... and a sweater. A green sweater. With shamrocks and little leprechauns on it.
Mrs. Sixth Grade wore black slacks. And a sweater vest that had leprechauns and a pot of gold and shamrocks on it. She had shamrock earrings and a shamrock brooch. And she wore a green hat (not made out of construction paper).

But the best was one of the Mrs. Second Grades. This Mrs. Second Grade threw shame out the window and wore a similar outfit to Mrs. First Grade. She had boots, except they had little bells on them. She had green tights, except they had little gold coins in the pattern. She had a black skirt on, except it came to her ankles and was way too frumpy even for her age. She had a green shirt with shamrocks on it, except she topped it with a vest (also green, also adorned with leprechauns and shamrocks etc). And on her head she donned a headband claiming "lucky irish" as well as a headband that was decorated with a mini hat. Only a very seasoned teacher could pull off two headbands.

Clearly, all of the teachers at my school are suffering from post teaching stress disorder (PTSD) to some degree or another! But Mrs. Second Grade has it bad!!

The only cure for PTSD is to retire and give me your job. That way, I can have 25 children of my own to dress up for and then I won't care how much of a dork I am because I'll have that many kids who will completely love the fact that I dress up just for them and make one day of the year fun even if all the others totally suck because of testing and standards and mean people.

Until then, I won't judge. Really, I won't.