I don't have kids. That doesn't mean I don't want them. Anyone who saw me gaga eyed over my niece last weekend knows that I am just as baby crazy as the next married gal my age who has a propensity for such things. But I don't have my own yet.
I do however have a cohort of 450 kids that I teach every week. And if you count the kids I sub for that's at least another 1000 I've seen throughout the year. I'm not really an expert, but I've learned a thing or two about what not to do to your kids. Here is my list of things you should NEVER do your kids.
1. Send them to school wearing socks, sandals, and sweatpants. Any combination of two out of the three is still off limits.
2. Buy them a cartoon or character backpack. No matter how cool the backpack is during the summer or during the back to school sale, I promise your child will be mortified they are carrying a High School Musical 3 backpack by June.
3. Let them start school before they are ::really:: potty trained. I know it's embarrassing, but if your five year old can't pee and poop in the big kid potty, keep him in preschool another year and read Everybody Poops a few more times.
4. Dress them in clothes they can't operate. Can't tie their shoes? Make them wear velcro or slip-ons. Can't do buttons on their jeans? Make them wear elastic waist pants. And make them practice at home for homework. And play with playdough until they get better fine motor skills.
5. Carry your elementary aged child on your hip like she's a baby. Really? I have to even say this?
Well I hope you've never done those things. And if you have, let me know why! I just don't get it. And when I have kids, I'll probably be screw everything else up, but at least I'll have five things I'll try to get right!