Monday, March 29, 2010

Caution: School Zone Ahead

You know how there are special speed limits around schools when children are present? 

Wait, you do? And you actually slow down because there are kids around who don't pay attention (not your kids of course...)

Then you must not be one of the parents at my school. 

You see, several times a week we have a cop who parks himself right in front of the school and zaps people with his fancy radar gun. Inevitably, he can catch two or three parents every morning zipping into school going much faster than the posted "25m.p.h. when children are present" speed limit. 

Then he goes a step farther and pulls them over in the school parking lot. Right in the same line of cars where all the other parents are dropping off kids. Right where all the kids watch and point. Sometimes he quite unnecessarily whirls his lights and beeps his siren. Cops trump teachers for celebrity power in the eyes of a grade schooler. 

Our teacher's lounge has windows that face the parking lot. Sometimes in the mornings teachers like to linger for a few minutes after stashing their lunches and watch to see who gets pulled over. 

"Ooooh he got Justin's mom!" 
"2nd grade Justin or 6th grade Justin?"
"6th grade" 
"Oh good! She was so mean to me at open house! Wouldn't leave me alone about homework." 
"Oh look he got Mrs. PTA!!!!"
"Haha... sucker"

"Nice, he got Soandso AND Soandso this time!"

"Did you see if he got anyone today?"
"Oh dear, I'm afraid so. Suzy's mom and Jared's mom. Two right in a row again." 

So if running over a stray child isn't enough to scare you into slowing down, this cop has it figured out. In small town USA, the double whammy of a ticket AND public humiliation ought to. Because if your neighbors aren't gossiping about you, surely your teachers are. 

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